What is marriage? Two people in a committed, binding relationship? Sure. Well, this is what I learned from The Princess Bride at the ripe young age of 12.
“Mawwiage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam within a dweam… And wove, twue wove, wiww fowwow you fowevah and evah… So tweasuwe youw wove…”
What a glorious description! Fast forward to 2005. I had just gone through a divorce – a supremely difficult, painful, and eye-opening period for me. I started seeing a co-worker (GASP!) and I thought that this was TWUE WOVE. Perhaps I was in the rebound stage. Perhaps it was destiny. Whatever it was, we soon headed down the path of relationship discovery.
We began discovering all sorts of quirky bits about each other. One particular discovery (i.e. argument) during that stage was the great “Princess Bride” debate. We were “getting to know each other” and my paramour asked me to name my Top 10 Movies. I thought about it carefully and named off the following:
The English Patient
These first two were greeted with an agreeing nod.
This received an “it’s okay, I guess” flipping of the hand.
The Princess Bride
Wait, what? The convo came to a screeching halt. My husband-to-be looked at me quizzically – The Princess Bride??!? ! Then the argument ensued. I extolled the virtues of this movie, quoting various scenes, and ended with “Come on! How can you not agree with this choice?” This was a very passionate discussion, perhaps because we were in the beginnings of a relationship and it was novel to argue about movies. He agreed that it was a good movie – but no way did it deserve to be listed in someone’s Top 10. Honestly I can’t remember how it ended. I believe Raul just kept pushing the point because he enjoyed seeing me get angrier and angrier…and then he may have finally conceded, with a well-played “I guess it’s okay, it’s your decision after all”, both placating and insulting me at the same time. We didn’t get to finish the list. But I discovered (and continue to discover) something from that night. That Raul is insufferable during an argument? No, I already knew that. What I discovered is that it’s okay to disagree. And to discuss why you feel a particular way – without having to get defensive.
I don’t remember Raul’s list (good wife, eh?). Maybe we didn’t even get to them, because we were so wrapped up in the PB discussion. Raul still doesn’t understand my love for that film. But that’s okay. I still WOVE him.